Tis The Season
by evergreeneyes
Summary: Draco and Hermione are in for some festive fun as they spend the Christmas season dashing between their assorted families and friends. Arguments, hilarity and mess ensue... HIATUS UNTIL NEXT YEAR - SORRY
1. Chapter 1

"So, where do you want to go for Christmas? Fiji? Thailand? Or maybe skiing?"

Hermione looked at her boyfriend of eight months blankly.

"Paris is probably beautiful in the snow…" the blond prompted.

The man was a little bit worried. Hermione never looked confused - _never_. Yet she was staring at him like he had three heads, completely neglecting her pasta. Not that he blamed her, he now realised he was a very bad cook and he would not be going near an oven again. The charred carbohydrate he had produced was practically toxic. Actually, perhaps he had grown three heads. He checked his reflection on the back of a spoon, but everything looked normal.

The bushy-haired girl seemed to regain her composure, and spoke to him as one might speak to Goyle.

"We're going to visit our families. And I showed you the invitation from Luna."

"We're _what_? I didn't think you were serious! Merlin, Mia, why would you inflict that on yourself?"

"Because it's Christmas, Draco, and that's what people do on Christmas."

"Sit in a room full of people they don't like and have nothing in common with?"

"Yes!" Hermione nodded emphatically, her curls bouncing.

"But it's Christmas… you're my girlfriend, we've got to be together at Christmas!" the Slytherin whined, pouting ever so slightly.

"We will." Hermione was speaking like he was stupid again.

"But if we're both visiting our families…"

"We'll both visit both of our families," the exasperated woman intoned slowly.

"Oh."

Hermione remained silently, trying to find a part of her dinner that was edible.

"Do we have to?"

"Yes!"

"But why?"

The whining was beginning to get on the brunette's nerves. It was like having a child. Hermione had decided she didn't like children very much. They couldn't hold a decent conversation and they always got in the way.

"If you want me to have sex with you ever again you will do this. Christmas is for families." Suddenly her eyes widened in horror. "Unless you just don't want your family to meet me. Oh my goodness, that's it! You're ashamed because I'm muggleborn, aren't you?"

Draco saw his girlfriend start to grow pink with anger. "No! Hermione, listen to me!" She had started to stand up, so he grabbed her wrists and pulled her back down. His silver eyes bored into her chocolate ones. "No, Mia, I am not ashamed of you. You know that! You are beautiful and clever and kind and your blood is just as wonderful as the rest of you."

The Gryffindor smiled at him. She did know he wasn't really ashamed. When she had first met his friends, arriving for lunch at Daphne's home, he had grinned at them all and said "here she is." All Hermione's worries about being stuck at a table with a group of Slytherin purebloods had dissipated when they had actually been pleased to meet her. Well, apart from Theodore Nott, but he seemed a little disliking of everyone, even his friends.

Hermione brought herself back to the present and accio-ed her notebook, conjuring a quill.

"So," she began in a business-like tone, and Draco worried slightly about what he had gotten himself into. "We have to do my dad, your parents, my mum, the Weasleys and Luna."

Draco's mouth hung open.

"Oh, and I said we'd visit Pans. It must be awful to be on your own at Christmas."

"She's got Blaise!"

"Blaise is visiting his aunt."

The blond was momentarily awe-struck. Mia truly did know everything, all of the time. Occasionally he worried that she was secretly a spy, like in those muggle movies, and she had a little invisible ear-piece which told her everything, but that was one of his sillier thoughts. Instead of voicing this he continued to argue.

"She's got her parents!"

"They do _not_ count. She needs moral support."

"Why do you always have to be so fucking virtuous?"

"Why do you always have to be so fucking selfish?"

"Touché."

And so it was that one week later, Draco was standing before a chart which covered an entire wall in the living room of his flat, where Hermione practically lived, listening to the tiny witch explain precisely what they were doing on every day, from when they both stopped work until they went back on the 28th. The grey-eyed man was trying very hard not to listen, but nevertheless he kept catching disturbing phrases; things like 'present shopping' ; 'stuff the turkey' (he didn't know what the heck a turkey was, but he doubted stuffing _anything _was pleasant) ; 'three children' ; 'board games' and, worst of all 'separate bedrooms'.

It was going to be a very long week.

A/N : Okay, so for the purposes of the story Hermione's parents are divorced and wizards don't eat turkey at Christmas, they eat something else (I shall elaborate in another chapter).

Please review and let me know what you think! (Constructive criticism is welcome.)


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: This chapter is dedicated to the lovely blossomgirl94 (who is the only person who reviewed)....**

**Huggles to TCBYogurt and dat panda bandit for alerting and 26.X for favouriting!**

Saturday 20th December - 07:00

His room still shrouded in darkness, Draco was woken by an obnoxious buzzing sound. He hit the snooze button on his alarm, but the noise didn't stop, so the blond buried his head under the pillow and tried to shut it out.

A moment later Hermione's voice penetrated the duck feathers and linen.

"If you don't get up right this minute, Draco Malfoy, something very unpleasant will happen."

The Slytherin pulled the duvet over his head too.

One minute later all of his bedclothes flew across the room. He opened his mouth to protest, but this turned out to be a bad idea as, at that exact moment, a bucket of freezing cold water decided to empty itself onto him.

Hermione had never seen her boyfriend sit up faster. She was standing at the end of his bed, wand in hand, looking impatient.

"What the heck was that for?" screamed Draco as he scrambled for his own wand to dry himself.

The brunette shrugged and began to tap her foot.

"You ignored my alarm."

"It's 7, in the morning, on a Saturday!" Draco was so tired it was taking all of his concentration to form coherent sentences.

"Exactly! Get dressed."

"Hmm, let me think about that … no."

"It's nice to see you still have the mental capacity of a ten-year-old, but that's not going to get our Christmas shopping done. Now move it!" Hermione ordered.

*****

"We better use side-along apparition," the Gryffindor informed Draco as he emerged from his bedroom ten minutes later.

"I can apparate for myself," the blond grumbled.

"You don't know where we're going."

"Diagon Alley, surely?"

"Nope, Muggle London."

"Right, that's it, I'm staying here."

"You most certainly are not. Of course we're going to Muggle London - we can't very well buy broomsticks or potions for my family."

"Well you do that and I'll go to Diagon Alley."

"I thought you'd want to spend time with me," said Hermione. The bookworm then did something she was a little ashamed of; she opened her big brown eyes as wide as possible and did her best puppy-begging-for-a-treat face. Oh well, she thought, all's fair in love and war. Love…

Draco's insides felt like they were tying themselves in knots. How could you disappoint someone when they looked so goddamn beautiful?

*****

Draco hated his manipulative girlfriend and her puppy-dog eyes with a passion similar to that with which he had once disliked Ron Weasley. The couple were currently being completely blocked in on every side by muggles rushing down the wide pavement.

"Quick, this way!" Hermione cried, attempting to squeeze through a miniscule gap and through the door of a department store. Draco ended up tripping over a small child, but finally they were in the spacious building and he no longer felt like he might suffocate.

As Hermione moved over to inspect a jewellery cabinet the blond made a great show of brushing himself down. She noticed and raised an eyebrow.

"Dirty muggles," Draco grumbled.

Hermione didn't even reply; she simply whirled around and walked away with the speed one might use to exit the Forbidden Forest. Once Draco's brain had registered what had happened, he raced off in the direction she'd gone. Evidently she knew the store better than he did and it was impossible to see her short frame over the myriad displays, so within minutes Draco found himself hopelessly lost, no longer able to see the doors.

"Umm, excuse me? Have you seen my girlfriend? About this tall? Bushy hair?" Draco repeated this like a mantra, but nobody had seen her. The Slytherin was getting distressed - he might be lost in this godforsaken muggle store for the rest of eternity. He raked a hand through his hair and grimaced.

"Son, are you all right?" Draco jumped and whipped around. The voice had come from a little old lady who was watching him with a concerned expression.

"I can't find my girlfriend. Have you seen her?" he asked desperately, about to launch into his description for the millionth time.

"Now don't you worry about that, sweetheart," comforted the elderly woman who _actually patted his cheek_. Draco Malfoy, ex-Death Eater, Slytherin Prince, had his cheek patted by a muggle grandmother. "We'll just take you over to the loudspeaker, shall we?"

And with that the woman led the much taller young man down a few aisles and up an escalator, to a desk labelled 'HELP'.

*****

Hermione Granger spun around in confusion as a loud voice boomed overhead,

"This is a customer announcement; could Hermione Granger please make her way to the help desk on the first floor, where a Draco Malfoy is waiting for her."

(Actually, the shop assistant pronounced it Drake O'Malfy, but that's not entirely relevant.)

Hermione _had_ been slightly worried about her boyfriend, but she was sure he could look after himself. And anyway, she was angry and it served him right if he spent the rest of his life searching for her amid the Tupperware and knitting needles.

"Prejudiced…pureblood…Slytherin…no better than a racist…" the brunette grumbled to herself in a low voice as she packed away the Wedgewood tea set she had purchased and stormed towards the escalator.

She barely even noticed the muggles edging quickly out of her way, clutching children protectively, as she marched by.

*****

The young man who currently sat behind the help desk, next to the old lady, head bowed in embarrassment, looked up at the sound of a blissfully familiar voice and was suddenly overwhelmed by immense relief.

"I'm Hermione Granger," the bushy-haired young woman informed the sales assistant.

Draco stood up and Hermione caught sight of him. Then the pureblood did something he had never done before (and would forever vehemently deny); he started to cry in public.

Hermione's mouth hung open in shock.

"Oh my goodness, you really are still a child!"

Draco blubbered in response as Hermione thanked the staff and the older woman ("I just found him wandering around, dear. Has he taken his medication today?"), and led Draco away from the desk.

"I..I thought…you weren't…coming…ba…ck!" the blond choked out. "I'm so…sorry…I didn't…*hiccup*…mean it! You're not…dir…ty, Mia!"

Hermione quickly scanned her brain for the tips-for-children her cousin had given her. If a child was upset you should … distract them!

Hermione pushed Draco into a waiting, and miraculously empty, lift. (Well, it hadn't been empty when they were walking towards it, but the family inside had gotten out when they saw the crying man approaching.) As soon as the doors slid closed she stood on her tiptoes and planted a kiss on his lips, softly wiping away his tears as he leaned towards her.

When the doors ping-ed open and they pulled apart, the blond looked much happier.

"I think I'll do that more often," he smirked.

*****

"I didn't know muggles knew about giants!"

Most of the shoppers in the vicinity turned to stare at the couple who were standing by a large selection of Christmas stockings.

"It's fine, Draco, just invite the Ministry to lock us up for breaking the Secrecy Law, I don't mind spending my Christmas in prison," Hermione hissed.

"Well, it would be a marked improvement on what you've planned for us," her boyfriend observed, now holding one of the stockings and inspecting it curiously.

The brunette rolled her eyes and explained to Draco in a very slow voice,

"These are not giants' socks, these are called Christmas stockings. They are oversized socks which _people_ hang on the end of their beds and Santa Claus fills them with little presents."

People passing by were throwing Hermione sympathetic looks and it was making her feel rather uncomfortable.

"Come on, lets go find the electrical department - I think Arthur would like a muggle radio." She murmured the last part so as not to have someone alert the police on the 'escaped lunatics', before walking off in the direction of a store-map.

While her back was turned Draco grabbed one of the stockings and shoved it to the bottom of his basket. As he hurried after her he asked,

"What is 'electrical'?"

**A/N: Seriously, reviews are _really _helpful, otherwise I don't know if I'm doing well or not!**

**Hope you enjoyed ... this one was a bit longer than last time!**


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